Growing up, I was not allowed to show or express any of my feelings. The more I did, the more I would get in trouble. Of course we all know, that leads to bottling up of emotions and then becoming a ticking time bomb of when you are going to explode when you couldn’t take it anymore. My sister and brother had no problem saying … Continue reading I can’t express my feelings
I feel like I have to re-examine myself as to what happened in the past, while I was trying to figure out how to deal with my mental illness, why things are the way they are now. I keep wondering if I should go back and read through my journals that I told myself I would never open again. Afraid that it might be a … Continue reading Going backwards
A lot of good things have been happening and I have my surgery to thank for that. I feel like it’s been a month, if not more, since my surgery when it has only been three weeks. The last three weeks has really been a blessing considering everything that I have gone through. The first week I was home, my mom stayed with me and … Continue reading Better late than never
I’ve been stuck at home recovering from surgery for about a few weeks now and I have run out of things to watch. I was surfing through Amazon Prime movies for something to watch and a Filipino movie came up. Filipino movies are mushy, corny love stories where one is fighting for the other to make the relationship work and they are definitely tear jerkers. … Continue reading I wish my love life was a Filipino love story
I’m not a a professional writer and I don’t plan to be anytime soon and I don’t remember all the things they taught you about grammar. I do read my blogs after I have posted them and I do find grammatical errors but I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. I write what comes to me at that moment. I try … Continue reading grammatically correct
Being in recovery mode for the past few weeks and have nothing to do but binge watch TV show and think endlessly about everything. The one thing that has been running around in my mind is that certain people become a part of your life and then at some point that comes to an end. When I was little, I grew up with my cousins. … Continue reading Phases of life
Valentines weekend, I was sitting on my couch Sunday evening and I get a call or text from my dad saying that my grandma was in the hospital and she had a stroke. Shortly after, I got a call from my sister saying she was on her way to the hospital and that my grandma didn’t have a lot of time left. I jumped off … Continue reading I Love you Lola
This is a late post because I’ve been busy with work. I’ve been really good about bringing my lunch to work and not eating out, that goes for dinner too. So one day I decided to get In-N-Out for dinner on a Friday evening. Hey, I deserve it right? So I got a double double with grilled onions, extra crispy fries and a coke. Took … Continue reading always take your psych meds!
I just started back on keto on Monday. So far it’s been okay. Today I only had a small turkey burger for lunch and I was still hungry. I decided to go down the street to where my company usually gets our luncheon sandwiches from and get one for myself. When I got down there, the line was obscenely long, I would have never made … Continue reading Strawberries and Granola
All this time, I’ve been dealing with my mental illness on my own, maybe with the help of my best friend and sometimes a therapist, but mainly on my own. I just went through another major depressive episode and it lasted for over a month and resulted in changes on my medication. I talk about it with certain people and I always get the same … Continue reading how do you speak when you can’t speak?