Dear ____________, You were the love of my life. I don’t think I can ever love someone again the way that I loved you. Everything about our relationship was everything I had ever imagined I would have in a relationship. You took care of me. You truly cared for me, I think, but you really did take care of me. The things you did for … Continue reading Closure
During my early 20’s and even early 30’s I was still skinny and weighed about 130 pounds. I fit into everything nicely and I wasn’t as conscious about my body as I am now. I still cared about what I wore, nice, classy, dressed appropriately to whatever occasion I went to. When I started taking meds in 2016, one of the side effects of nearly … Continue reading Self Image
I feel like I have to re-examine myself as to what happened in the past, while I was trying to figure out how to deal with my mental illness, why things are the way they are now. I keep wondering if I should go back and read through my journals that I told myself I would never open again. Afraid that it might be a … Continue reading Going backwards
Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget
So I’ve been doing the dating scene for quite some time now and I’ve noticed something… Of all the guys I’ve had first and/or second dates with, I don’t know if it’s me or what, but for some reason they seem to fall hard and fast and so when I tell them that it’s not going to work, they are completely devastated and I’ve, and … Continue reading Can you create love out of thin air?
I have this friend who was going through deep depression the same time I was. We would sulk in our misery together. Somehow our level of depression seemed to always be the same every time we saw each other. When we were at our lowest point, I remember us saying how we didn’t remember what it felt like to be happy. That we haven’t smiled … Continue reading I didn’t think it was possible…
So the last time I said anything about relationships, I said I didn’t want to be in one and I just wanted a companion and leave everything up to the universe. Well that lasted for a good few months. I sit here and I think, if I really leave it up to the universe and fate or destiny, nothing will ever happen because I never … Continue reading Wish me luck! “Wink”
So I’ve been angry with God for some time now and yes I will say that yea, I did turn my back on him. I lost my faith in God. I lost all trust in God. I stopped looking to God for answers to any of my problems when he was the source of all my answers before. I was angry at God for giving … Continue reading Am I okay with God now?
So with all this crazy talk of negativity, it’s time for a change of pace, shall we? I’m a naturally quiet person. I’m an introvert with social anxiety. If I don’t know you, I won’t be the first to speak when we meet. There are those people who love to talk and can talk and talk and talk and talk to no end at all. … Continue reading just be there
I took the day off today… for two reasons. One, I didn’t feel like going to work and two, I was feeling depressed. I definitely needed it. Work is not crazy but it’s not busy either. I slept in til 11am and then went to lunch with my cousin. Went home and took Mochi to the park. It seems my depression has been getting worse. … Continue reading my saving grace