Are you okay? I get asked that question a lot, throughout the day, everyday. It really gets exhausting having to always answer “yes, I’m okay.” I get that there are those people who are positive or happy people all the time but I’m not one of them. I’m not saying I’m a sad person, I just don’t show that much emotion throughout the day and … Continue reading are you okay?
Sometimes I wonder how severe my mental illness is but who is to say except my psychiatrist. In the beginning, things were bad, I mean really bad. I really don’t know how I got through those days. How I was able to live on my own, keep my job and have pets to take care of and at the same time, no one in my … Continue reading high-functioning
I have been though countless episodes since I’ve been diagnosed and in the end, I just move on with life as if nothing happened. I don’t think I’ve ever really analyzed an episode after it had happened. Is it better that I don’t? or should I have sat down and talked about it? I don’t think it matters now, does it? It’s okay, I had … Continue reading as if nothing happened
Separate, sifting through the wreckageI can’t concentrateSearching for a message In the fear and painBroken down and waitingFor the chance to feel alive Now in my remainsAre promises that never cameSet the silence freeTo wash away the worst of me Come apartFalling in the cracksOf every broken heartDigging through the wreckage Of your disregardSinking down and waitingFor the chance to feel alive Now in my … Continue reading In my remains by Linkin Park
This is a late post because I’ve been busy with work. I’ve been really good about bringing my lunch to work and not eating out, that goes for dinner too. So one day I decided to get In-N-Out for dinner on a Friday evening. Hey, I deserve it right? So I got a double double with grilled onions, extra crispy fries and a coke. Took … Continue reading always take your psych meds!
I just started back on keto on Monday. So far it’s been okay. Today I only had a small turkey burger for lunch and I was still hungry. I decided to go down the street to where my company usually gets our luncheon sandwiches from and get one for myself. When I got down there, the line was obscenely long, I would have never made … Continue reading Strawberries and Granola
All this time, I’ve been dealing with my mental illness on my own, maybe with the help of my best friend and sometimes a therapist, but mainly on my own. I just went through another major depressive episode and it lasted for over a month and resulted in changes on my medication. I talk about it with certain people and I always get the same … Continue reading how do you speak when you can’t speak?
I don’t know if it’s the meds or the illness that’s causing the mind to slow down or have I always been slow to process things? I’ve noticed it for some time now, I have a hard time processing difficult situations. I just had a depressive episode and while myself and my body are over it, my mind is still processing it. I mean it’s … Continue reading time to process
4 years later and I haven’t gotten over it. Do you ever get over having a mental illness? When do you stop thinking about it when you have a constant reminder that this is what you have? I talked it over with my therapist and it was making things better and then it comes back again. I don’t want to go back to therapy. I … Continue reading I just want them to be there and listen
Things have been going so well for me. Life is good. Work is good. Family is good. I really couldn’t ask for anything more. Even with COVID going on all around us, I’m one of the lucky ones who can say that everything is really going okay. Probably even better than okay. So why is it that when I finally get to this point in … Continue reading Self Love