a good day in a haystack

couldn’t decide what to do today so i booked a last minute massage at Burke Williams Spa. I sat around the house for a bit before my appointment. Moo misses Mochi since she had a play date with Kory at Susanna’s house last night.

My mind is clouded just as the overcast that is still set in outside. Beautiful scenery but haze gently coats what I imagine it to be. The sun shining bright, the trees glowing with rays peeking through where it can and in certain of gold sparkle in view, glimmers the distance gazing down the street line with tress on both sides as if in a dream. And to think that this is in one of the streets near my house, I just added a few things that my imagination likes.

I get to Burke Williams, still a bit disoriented from my crazy emotions and at some point I start to calm down. The lady at the front desk shows me around considering I haven’t been here in ages! I get to my locker and change into my spa robe, and this thing is HUGE! but welcome it. There is something about being wrapped up in soft linen sinking into a state of relaxation. This robe is size 4XL! I’m a small or a medium. Listening to their soft music, sitting in their lounge, writing and I already am starting to feel relaxed waiting for my bath. Yes! I am spoiling myself today. I need it! I was going crazy at home.

12:10pm – Okay, I really feel like I am being treated like a queen right now. I went to get my bath (yes, a bath that someone drew from me. If you haven’t taken a bubble bath, take one! if you are a guy, go watch the Friends episode where Chandler starts to like them and beats Monica every time she prepares one.) When the lady came to get me, she brought me to a room with two bath tubs, one set up for me. Just for me! A plate of fruits and a glass of water. She explained some things and then she took my robe from me holding it up as I got in the bath. Perfect temperature, bubbles, everything was set up just right. I lay down and she put cucumbers on my eyes and a cool towel on my forehead, dimmed the lights and in a minute I was alone. I start to drift away. I am disrupted by my body starting to float so I anchor my foot to the other end of the tub. Feel my hands, soft, silky, and smooth, tingling, with the smell of eucalyptus surrounding my senses. I stay still for what seemed to be a timeless moment of peace, serenity and calm. Sadly I cannot stay in this moment and wake. I decided to eat some of the strawberries left for me and some of the chocolate syrup drips on my elbow as I take a bite. Perfect timing for the lady to check on me and see if I was okay. She left me with an aroma therapy towel to put on my forehead when I was ready to relax again. After eating the strawberries, I drink water and lay back down. Took the town and put it on my head. The strong smell of eucalyptus surround my face and nose and all senses and I float away into a dream world. A meadow with colors of the fall as leaves float to the ground. The bubbles stop and I hear the music playing. A piano piece and my dream begins to change. I see a big room, fit for a queen, walls tower over with high ceilings and beautiful chandelier up above, light blue paint with a hint of gold trim accents on the wood. A woman in a white backless gown with black hair fixed neatly into a tight bun, looks out the through the sheer colored curtains blowing past her, gaze is far from where it should be. As each note plays, I could feel the beat of her heart, it’s not pain, it’s not sorrow, a man dressed in a tuxedo is in the room with her, waiting for her, telling her it is time. The notes on the piano become heavier, the look of conforming blankets her face as she looks toward the man and begins to step his way. One note, one step, out the room, down the corridor and my dream fades as I wake.

Some dream… I wonder what that meant… certainly wasn’t me in the dream. My bath is over, the lady helps me out and leads me back into the lounge room and I write this down. I had my massage and oh did I enjoy that. I didn’t have much of a dream during the massage. I think I just drifted off into a dreamless sleep which what quite welcoming. After my massage, I got ready and back to reality I go. Went to eat at Poke Bar for lunch, went to therapy (kind of a rough session), went to pick up Mochi from Susanna’s then headed back home and took a nap. Was woken up by a phone call being invited to watch Alice – though the looking glass. I wasn’t too excited about watching it but glad I did. Was much better than I expected, even got a bit teary eyed in the end. So good night.

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blogger’s block and life goes on

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I was on vacation in Peru and I will have my story about that soon. At this moment there are too many things in my head to sort through. I want to write all the things down but then it would be on jumbled mess that not even myself would be able to sort through. Too many things happened in too little time, but that is how it always is right? I may not be tIMAG1434he best blogger or do any of my rants always make sense and i have a slight tendency to repeat myself but the passion is still there. And if anything writing things down helps to sort out the chaos running through my mind every minute. I can say that I hope I can start writing again when life gets back to normal, but what exactly is normal? or weird? or the avoidance of conforming to societies expectations? <– I don’t know why that line got in there but I’m pretty sure there is a reason and I just haven’t gotten to it. We all have our days where we can’t figure anything out… I’m having another one of those days and this is just a complete and random rant that I’m typing as things pop up in my head. It’s one of those days where I just want to be a kid and not have any responsibilities to think of and live care free, spin around as fast as I can until it tickles my tummy and fall down laughing uncontrollably for no reason at all. Where is my inner child when I need him, but then again in 30 minutes I do have to start working.

life’s a… and chances are…

I haven’t13119754_10209795170661698_3909736566166185526_o been myself at all these days. Not saying that the robot with fried wires is me but in a way that is what I feel like. Dealing with a lot of things that are foreign to me. Still trying to figure out life but who isn’t? We live our lives thinking that we can solve/deal with everything that life will throw at us… good and bad. But when we get to our wits end, pushed to the corner, run out of options to the point where things that you want to hide can’t help but spill out of you  to people that you thought you would never tell because you are afraid of what they might say before you even give them the chance to hear you out. Turns out it’s nothing but care and concern that comes from them. Still with all the chaos that I am going through, I still feel like I am truly blessed and that God still has not left my side and seems like he never will. Right now, hanging on to my faith and trusting God keeps me here.

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On the lighter side of life… I’m set to go on vacation tomorrow night. Managed to pack a 10 day trip into a tiny carry on suitcase… and an army of medication to get through the trip to Peru! woohoo! It looks bad but I’m a preventative maintenance type of person considering I’ve been a sickly kid all my life. So… Altitude pills for the Machu Picchu portion of the trip. Antibiotics just incase I catch something. Another for tummy issues, OTC meds and a mini first aid kit, of course my inhaler. But never ever forget the playdoh for my inner child.

I will try to post while I am gone if I can. If not, see you in 10 days!