sometimes I just need a break

I love living alone. I love my freedom, my space, my independence but sometimes I wish I lived with someone. Not necessarily a significant other, maybe just a roommate or something like that to help with the day to day responsibilities? Or what if they have something like hire a caregiver on the spot just for a day or two or as long as needed? I do everything myself, which is normally fine, and again, sometimes I wish I had someone to help, but with the way I’ve been feeling the past couple of days, I really could use someone or some help right about now.

Today I had to take Minion to the vet this morning for his cardiologist appointment then pick him up after work. Then I get home and have to make sure Minion doesn’t get chased down by Mochi and let him out in the bedroom with the door closed. Then I have to walk Mochi. I can’t not walk Mochi. After we get back, I have to clean up the pee pads and the litter boxes, then feed them, then I can finally cook dinner, change clothes and eat dinner, and after dinner, clean up the dishes. That doesn’t even include running errands or going grocery shopping. And then add a mental episode or whatever you may call it to all of that, sometimes I just need a break!

Mochi won’t stop bugging me for attention. She wants to play or she wants to go outside to pee. Minion and Moo constantly ask for food. I can’t even sit down to relax for a good amount of time. The sad part is, when I’m not myself, I end up taking it out on them and they don’t deserve that. The hardest part is when it lasts for more than a couple of days. All I want to do is sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open, I look mad all the time or I have a blank stare on my face, and at the same time, my whole body hurts. I’m sluggish, fatigued. It’s a different kind of being sick. But I have to keep moving. I have to go to work tomorrow. I can’t afford to take a day off because it’s our busy time at work, there are deadlines left and right. I have to take care of my pets. Oh yea, I have to work weekend mornings this month because we are migrating our system to a new platform. I guess I’ll just keep trudging along.


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