discombobulated episode

So with everything going on with me, I’m beginning to think, am I having an episode? I’m so deathly afraid of having an episode that I could possibly be denying that I am in one. Does an episode mean I have to be depressed? I don’t even know if I am depressed. I haven’t been depressed in a long time. I know my mind is … Continue reading discombobulated episode

I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I haven’t spoken about my mental illness to anyone in a very long time until this past week. I’ve been doing great, I’ve been happy and moving along with life just fine. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. I didn’t think talking about my condition to someone new would start making me feel the way I do now, which I really can’t explain … Continue reading I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I know how you feel…

Everybody goes though tough times in their lives. Everybody has different experiences. When we tell our stories to other people, do they really understand what we’ve been through and what it felt like to live through those times? Even if the situation is similar, can we still say to the other person, “I know how you feel?” Sometimes I feel like the feelings that someone … Continue reading I know how you feel…

Sometimes I forget

Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget

“Nobody Can Save Me”

It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. Thankfully my doctor has found the right combination of medications to get me stable for about a year now and I am doing great. When Linkin Park released their last album, “One More Light,” there was one particular song in there that hit me hard… … Continue reading “Nobody Can Save Me”

does self care mean self centered?

Before I used to care about everyone but me. All I cared about was your well being. How do you feel? How are you? Are you ok? What is going on in your life? Nevermind about me, I’m fine (regardless of what have been going on in my life good or bad), my number one priority was to take care of you. I was very … Continue reading does self care mean self centered?

the year that I died

Things were already falling apart. I couldn’t tell you when it began, I just remember my therapist telling me at some point that I needed to see a psychiatrist. Why, because everything that I had buried so deep inside and chose to forget and other things that I didn’t know were there started pouring out of me and I couldn’t hold it together anymore. For … Continue reading the year that I died