are you okay?

Are you okay? I get asked that question a lot, throughout the day, everyday. It really gets exhausting having to always answer “yes, I’m okay.” I get that there are those people who are positive or happy people all the time but I’m not one of them. I’m not saying I’m a sad person, I just don’t show that much emotion throughout the day and … Continue reading are you okay?

Going backwards

I feel like I have to re-examine myself as to what happened in the past, while I was trying to figure out how to deal with my mental illness, why things are the way they are now. I keep wondering if I should go back and read through my journals that I told myself I would never open again. Afraid that it might be a … Continue reading Going backwards

how do you speak when you can’t speak?

All this time, I’ve been dealing with my mental illness on my own, maybe with the help of my best friend and sometimes a therapist, but mainly on my own. I just went through another major depressive episode and it lasted for over a month and resulted in changes on my medication. I talk about it with certain people and I always get the same … Continue reading how do you speak when you can’t speak?

time to process

I don’t know if it’s the meds or the illness that’s causing the mind to slow down or have I always been slow to process things? I’ve noticed it for some time now, I have a hard time processing difficult situations. I just had a depressive episode and while myself and my body are over it, my mind is still processing it. I mean it’s … Continue reading time to process

I will stand on my own

Normally when something big happens in your life, you have your family to support you through those tough times. When I got sick, at first, the support was there. There was my ex boyfriend who was doing a really good job of taking care of me, He witnessed a lot in the beginning and I don’t know how much a person could really handle when … Continue reading I will stand on my own

I just want them to be there and listen

4 years later and I haven’t gotten over it. Do you ever get over having a mental illness? When do you stop thinking about it when you have a constant reminder that this is what you have? I talked it over with my therapist and it was making things better and then it comes back again. I don’t want to go back to therapy. I … Continue reading I just want them to be there and listen