as if nothing happened

I have been though countless episodes since I’ve been diagnosed and in the end, I just move on with life as if nothing happened. I don’t think I’ve ever really analyzed an episode after it had happened. Is it better that I don’t? or should I have sat down and talked about it? I don’t think it matters now, does it? It’s okay, I had an episode, I got through it and now I’m okay. Do I have to re-live it by talking about it and what happened while it was happening? Do I really want to put myself through that? What if it triggers another episode? What then?

Is it better to acknowledge minor symptoms that are happening here or there or just ignore them and just go on with life normally, as if nothing happened. But then again if I do, I might not realize that I am beginning to have an episode? And besides, I have to be symptomatic for about two weeks for it to really mean anything, so why pay attention to the ones and twos every now and then. And back to they need to write a manual for mental illness.

I just want to live a normal life, a life without out mood swings, seeing things or hearing things or whatever other symptoms I may have. I wish it would all just go away as if nothing happened. But no, I just have to continue to accept it and move on and make it seem like everything is normal as if nothing happened.


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