how do you speak when you can’t speak?

All this time, I’ve been dealing with my mental illness on my own, maybe with the help of my best friend and sometimes a therapist, but mainly on my own. I just went through another major depressive episode and it lasted for over a month and resulted in changes on my medication. I talk about it with certain people and I always get the same … Continue reading how do you speak when you can’t speak?

time to process

I don’t know if it’s the meds or the illness that’s causing the mind to slow down or have I always been slow to process things? I’ve noticed it for some time now, I have a hard time processing difficult situations. I just had a depressive episode and while myself and my body are over it, my mind is still processing it. I mean it’s … Continue reading time to process

I just want them to be there and listen

4 years later and I haven’t gotten over it. Do you ever get over having a mental illness? When do you stop thinking about it when you have a constant reminder that this is what you have? I talked it over with my therapist and it was making things better and then it comes back again. I don’t want to go back to therapy. I … Continue reading I just want them to be there and listen

discombobulated episode

So with everything going on with me, I’m beginning to think, am I having an episode? I’m so deathly afraid of having an episode that I could possibly be denying that I am in one. Does an episode mean I have to be depressed? I don’t even know if I am depressed. I haven’t been depressed in a long time. I know my mind is … Continue reading discombobulated episode

I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I haven’t spoken about my mental illness to anyone in a very long time until this past week. I’ve been doing great, I’ve been happy and moving along with life just fine. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. I didn’t think talking about my condition to someone new would start making me feel the way I do now, which I really can’t explain … Continue reading I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I come with a warning label…

I’ve been a sickly child my entire life. I was born one month premature, explains the sickly child thing. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t on any sort of medication whether it be over the counter or prescription, I’ve just been taking them all my life. It wasn’t until recently when I’ve gone a year or two without coming down … Continue reading I come with a warning label…

Will I ever get over it?

So the past that I thought many times I had gotten over suddenly found it’s way back to remind me of what happened again… Yesterday, my Whiskey Words and a Shovel calendar said this… I couldn’t stop staring at the words printed on the page. Old feelings rushed through my mind over and over again bringing back the feelings that I thought I had many … Continue reading Will I ever get over it?

Sometimes I forget

Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget

I passed my 6 month mark

It’s been 8 or 9 months now, I think, and my medication hasn’t failed on me. YAY! Before I couldn’t get past 6 months without my doctor having to change my meds and I would go into this period of depression every time. I didn’t even notice it until my last doctor appointment. I had to look up when my doctor originally prescribed the last … Continue reading I passed my 6 month mark