discombobulated episode

So with everything going on with me, I’m beginning to think, am I having an episode? I’m so deathly afraid of having an episode that I could possibly be denying that I am in one. Does an episode mean I have to be depressed? I don’t even know if I am depressed. I haven’t been depressed in a long time. I know my mind is … Continue reading discombobulated episode

I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I haven’t spoken about my mental illness to anyone in a very long time until this past week. I’ve been doing great, I’ve been happy and moving along with life just fine. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. I didn’t think talking about my condition to someone new would start making me feel the way I do now, which I really can’t explain … Continue reading I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I come with a warning label…

I’ve been a sickly child my entire life. I was born one month premature, explains the sickly child thing. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t on any sort of medication whether it be over the counter or prescription, I’ve just been taking them all my life. It wasn’t until recently when I’ve gone a year or two without coming down … Continue reading I come with a warning label…

Will I ever get over it?

So the past that I thought many times I had gotten over suddenly found it’s way back to remind me of what happened again… Yesterday, my Whiskey Words and a Shovel calendar said this… I couldn’t stop staring at the words printed on the page. Old feelings rushed through my mind over and over again bringing back the feelings that I thought I had many … Continue reading Will I ever get over it?

Sometimes I forget

Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget

I passed my 6 month mark

It’s been 8 or 9 months now, I think, and my medication hasn’t failed on me. YAY! Before I couldn’t get past 6 months without my doctor having to change my meds and I would go into this period of depression every time. I didn’t even notice it until my last doctor appointment. I had to look up when my doctor originally prescribed the last … Continue reading I passed my 6 month mark

I didn’t think it was possible…

I have this friend who was going through deep depression the same time I was. We would sulk in our misery together. Somehow our level of depression seemed to always be the same every time we saw each other. When we were at our lowest point, I remember us saying how we didn’t remember what it felt like to be happy. That we haven’t smiled … Continue reading I didn’t think it was possible…