I can’t express my feelings

Growing up, I was not allowed to show or express any of my feelings. The more I did, the more I would get in trouble. Of course we all know, that leads to bottling up of emotions and then becoming a ticking time bomb of when you are going to explode when you couldn’t take it anymore. My sister and brother had no problem saying … Continue reading I can’t express my feelings

“Nobody Can Save Me”

It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. Thankfully my doctor has found the right combination of medications to get me stable for about a year now and I am doing great. When Linkin Park released their last album, “One More Light,” there was one particular song in there that hit me hard… … Continue reading “Nobody Can Save Me”

does self care mean self centered?

Before I used to care about everyone but me. All I cared about was your well being. How do you feel? How are you? Are you ok? What is going on in your life? Nevermind about me, I’m fine (regardless of what have been going on in my life good or bad), my number one priority was to take care of you. I was very … Continue reading does self care mean self centered?

I think it’s not over yet…

While things have been good for the past 9 months… my doctor hasn’t changed my meds, I haven’t had any depressive episodes in the past 6 months and everything seems to be okay, I still feel like my depression is hanging around, waiting to release some energy at some point. It’s been too long on the upside of things and it’s time to go back … Continue reading I think it’s not over yet…

asking for help

I’m in my in between world again. Not up or down. Just somewhere in between where I really don’t feel anything. My natural high has dissipated like a balloon deflating back to just a piece of latex. I feel like a dead weight. Maybe it’s time to go back to therapy. I stopped going to therapy back in January because things seemed to be going … Continue reading asking for help