I Wish They Knew

Everyday we hear of someone committing suicide. Someone’s relative’s nephew. A man that lived down the street who walked his dog everyday. A famous rockstar. Whoever it might be. Then you hear the people around them talking about how selfish they were to take their own lives and what will happen to those they leave behind. He was so happy all the time. You would never think he would do such a thing.

Well I wish we all knew what they were thinking at the time they did this. I certainly can’t give you a full description but maybe a slight intuition as to what it might have been at that moment.

We could be our happiest selves and be positive around everyone we come across. We go about our daily lives as if nothing has changed. At the right moment all we can think of is I DON’T want to GO ON! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE! I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY ANYMORE! I’M TIRED OF FIGHTING! I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT GO AWAY! I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! Just get it over with! The scary part is when we JUST DON’T CARE about what happens and in the next few moments and the damage is done.

There is so much more that could be going on from person to person depending of what they have been through in each of their lives. Who’s to say that every scenario is the same. This, this is simply my story, the limited version. I write this because this is what I’ve felt like the past two times I failed to pull it off. I write this because I want to stick up for every person that has committed suicide and has been criticized. No one knows what that person has been through and no one has the right to judge. Yes it happened and its a tragedy, but please let them be at peace and stop the criticism.

There are a lot of people out there who are depressed and need help. If you know someone or are someone who needs help, please call the  Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.

If you text 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you. Many young people do not like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. It’s a free service to ANYONE who lives in the U.S. It’s run by The Crisis Text Line.



Discovering L.A. through Art

So lately I’ve been going on tours in and around Los Angeles checking out street art courtesy of Cart Wheel Art Tours. On top of that, I’ve been doing my own walking around and finding my own way around. I’ve found a new passion in getting to know the city I’ve lived in and around my whole life through the hidden gems lurking around all over town.

It started when I went on this tour near Filipino Town in L.A. through Gabba Gallery, Cart Wheel Art Tours, and Atlas Obscura. The tour took us through several back alleys of a small section of that neighborhood and I fell in love!

All this time my passion for art was in paintings and going to gallery museums and exhibits. Who knew that there was this other type of art out there that couldn’t be put anywhere but in the back alleys of the streets of Los Angeles.

One weekend, I went to a couple open exhibits in West Hollywood. On the outside of the building were these wall murals of different characters like the monopoly guy. After I went into the exhibit, I decided to explore the area. I started to walk down one side of Melrose Ave and found more street art. I even came across a wall #7575 Melrose Street Art Wall. Melrose Ave has it’s own hashtag! I found several other installations of art that I’ve seen from other tours in LA. There was one that I really liked “From the dirt a flower must grow.”

It’s one of my favorite ones. I also came across one of those wings that you stand in front of and it looks like you have wings. Totally cool! Yes I know, weird language for me. Now I’m on a mission to find the rest in LA.


By the way, I am having sooooo much fun with this, it’s hard to put it down into words. I’m on an mission! This is just the beginning, until the next time.

Work Attire

When I first got into the working world, the dress code at my first job was business casual. I had nice button down shirts and blouses with jeans and wore boots with them. I must say I like the business casual look. Over the years and switching jobs, the dress code went down to casual so it was just jeans and a t-shirt with sneakers and that was it. Don’t get me wrong, that is my favorite type of outfit.

Today I decided to dress up a little for work. We don’t have a dress code, just casual. I’m normally a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl or sweaters with sneakers. Lately I’ve been feeling like I wear the same thing over and over week after week. Over the holidays I did a bit of shopping and got myself a new pair of boots. With all the nice blouses I’ve had from the previous years, I wanted to change it up a bit. I put on a rust color blouse, dark jeans, and my new boots and get to work.

I guess my coworkers are used to me in the casual clothes, it’s rare that I ever dress up, only at our holiday parties. My one coworker asks me “Are you going out to lunch?” I said no and she says “you look nice today.” Of course I thank her and I told her that I just felt like dressing up today. Going out to lunch, my boss asks me “Got a hot date?” I said no, I wanted to wear my new boots. “Oh, new boots. Okay.” Other coworkers gave me compliments as well.

Well now that I’ve got my boots, I can wear all my business casual clothes collecting dust in my closet. The only thing now is to break these boots in. It is only the second time I’ve worn them and my feet hurt already. And on a side note, I’ve started working out again so all my other clothes should fit me better soon. Yay!