Only the Lonely

As much as I love doing things on my own, not having to worry about anyone else at all, it really does get lonely. I know I’ve said it time and time again, I’m lonely. This past weekend I went up to the Sequoia National Park. Did some hiking, climbed a rock, more hiking, saw ginormous trees and more hiking before a four hour drive home. It was nice being out in the woods since there isn’t a lot of it in the city. I had plenty of time to think to myself, clear my mind, overthink some things and in the end I still thought, I wish someone actually came with me.

A couple of weeks ago I was in the middle of downtown L.A. for their monthly art walk. Went from gallery to gallery and found a couple of the artists that I follow. I even went to a place called The Last Book Store. Pretty cool place. A giant maze of books. Everywhere you went, there were books.

On my way to one of the galleries, the scene was straight from a bad movie where there is a girl all alone in the dark street and three guys coming her way and attack her. I was lucky and didn’t get attacked. I made it to the gallery and I just had this eerie feeling when I walked in. Creepy security guard in the entrance. The building was empty. Took the elevator to the 5th floor. Inside the elevator was all carpet with a dim light and musty smell. I walk out of the elevator and find myself in an empty half lit hallway. I look for the suite number of the gallery, turn a corner here and another one there and then I found it but the door was locked. Gosh I wish someone was here with me. So I had to go back through the dim lit hallways back to the creepy elevator down the building and back into the dark street alone. I eventually made my way back to the crowded streets and made it back to my car. After that, I didn’t go to any other galleries because they were opposite from where I was and a lot further and I certainly didn’t want to go down any more dark streets. This is why I wish someone was with me. Well one of the reasons.

That Saturday, I went to Santa Monica for a Kite Festival. I love kites! I brought my camera to take pictures. I wanted to fly a kite but couldn’t because no one would hold my camera for me. I didn’t stay too long since they kept flying the same kites. I walked around 3rd Street Promenade a bit, got something to eat then went home.

My cousin always tells me how jealous she is of my life and how I can go anywhere whenever I want to and be spontaneous. We were roommates for two and a half years. We were Disneyland buddies. We would go on food adventures together. I miss those days. She’s got two kids now.

So I know how it feels like to have a friend or a companion or just someone to do and share all these things with and now I do everything alone. I may be courageous and say, “YEAH I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!” and be proud of myself for doing so, but it always comes back to me being lonely. Everyone is like, “Look at you, miss independent.” and will say “I’m so jealous of you.” But on the flip side, I look at their lives and see that they have a family, they have family events, everything is done with someone. So I will say this, I am jealous of you. You have memories to share with your family. Don’t get me wrong, I like doing all the things that I do, I just wish I could share them with someone.

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Discovering L.A. through Art

So lately I’ve been going on tours in and around Los Angeles checking out street art courtesy of Cart Wheel Art Tours. On top of that, I’ve been doing my own walking around and finding my own way around. I’ve found a new passion in getting to know the city I’ve lived in and around my whole life through the hidden gems lurking around all over town.

It started when I went on this tour near Filipino Town in L.A. through Gabba Gallery, Cart Wheel Art Tours, and Atlas Obscura. The tour took us through several back alleys of a small section of that neighborhood and I fell in love!

All this time my passion for art was in paintings and going to gallery museums and exhibits. Who knew that there was this other type of art out there that couldn’t be put anywhere but in the back alleys of the streets of Los Angeles.

One weekend, I went to a couple open exhibits in West Hollywood. On the outside of the building were these wall murals of different characters like the monopoly guy. After I went into the exhibit, I decided to explore the area. I started to walk down one side of Melrose Ave and found more street art. I even came across a wall #7575 Melrose Street Art Wall. Melrose Ave has it’s own hashtag! I found several other installations of art that I’ve seen from other tours in LA. There was one that I really liked “From the dirt a flower must grow.”

It’s one of my favorite ones. I also came across one of those wings that you stand in front of and it looks like you have wings. Totally cool! Yes I know, weird language for me. Now I’m on a mission to find the rest in LA.

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By the way, I am having sooooo much fun with this, it’s hard to put it down into words. I’m on an mission! This is just the beginning, until the next time.