high-functioning

Sometimes I wonder how severe my mental illness is but who is to say except my psychiatrist. In the beginning, things were bad, I mean really bad. I really don’t know how I got through those days. How I was able to live on my own, keep my job and have pets to take care of and at the same time, no one in my … Continue reading high-functioning

how do you speak when you can’t speak?

All this time, I’ve been dealing with my mental illness on my own, maybe with the help of my best friend and sometimes a therapist, but mainly on my own. I just went through another major depressive episode and it lasted for over a month and resulted in changes on my medication. I talk about it with certain people and I always get the same … Continue reading how do you speak when you can’t speak?

time to process

I don’t know if it’s the meds or the illness that’s causing the mind to slow down or have I always been slow to process things? I’ve noticed it for some time now, I have a hard time processing difficult situations. I just had a depressive episode and while myself and my body are over it, my mind is still processing it. I mean it’s … Continue reading time to process

I just want them to be there and listen

4 years later and I haven’t gotten over it. Do you ever get over having a mental illness? When do you stop thinking about it when you have a constant reminder that this is what you have? I talked it over with my therapist and it was making things better and then it comes back again. I don’t want to go back to therapy. I … Continue reading I just want them to be there and listen

discombobulated episode

So with everything going on with me, I’m beginning to think, am I having an episode? I’m so deathly afraid of having an episode that I could possibly be denying that I am in one. Does an episode mean I have to be depressed? I don’t even know if I am depressed. I haven’t been depressed in a long time. I know my mind is … Continue reading discombobulated episode

I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I haven’t spoken about my mental illness to anyone in a very long time until this past week. I’ve been doing great, I’ve been happy and moving along with life just fine. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. I didn’t think talking about my condition to someone new would start making me feel the way I do now, which I really can’t explain … Continue reading I want to crawl under a rock and hide…

I come with a warning label…

I’ve been a sickly child my entire life. I was born one month premature, explains the sickly child thing. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t on any sort of medication whether it be over the counter or prescription, I’ve just been taking them all my life. It wasn’t until recently when I’ve gone a year or two without coming down … Continue reading I come with a warning label…

I know how you feel…

Everybody goes though tough times in their lives. Everybody has different experiences. When we tell our stories to other people, do they really understand what we’ve been through and what it felt like to live through those times? Even if the situation is similar, can we still say to the other person, “I know how you feel?” Sometimes I feel like the feelings that someone … Continue reading I know how you feel…

Will I ever get over it?

So the past that I thought many times I had gotten over suddenly found it’s way back to remind me of what happened again… Yesterday, my Whiskey Words and a Shovel calendar said this… I couldn’t stop staring at the words printed on the page. Old feelings rushed through my mind over and over again bringing back the feelings that I thought I had many … Continue reading Will I ever get over it?