Sometimes I forget

Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget

“Nobody Can Save Me”

It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. Thankfully my doctor has found the right combination of medications to get me stable for about a year now and I am doing great. When Linkin Park released their last album, “One More Light,” there was one particular song in there that hit me hard… … Continue reading “Nobody Can Save Me”

Can you create love out of thin air?

So I’ve been doing the dating scene for quite some time now and I’ve noticed something… Of all the guys I’ve had first and/or second dates with, I don’t know if it’s me or what, but for some reason they seem to fall hard and fast and so when I tell them that it’s not going to work, they are completely devastated and I’ve, and … Continue reading Can you create love out of thin air?

does self care mean self centered?

Before I used to care about everyone but me. All I cared about was your well being. How do you feel? How are you? Are you ok? What is going on in your life? Nevermind about me, I’m fine (regardless of what have been going on in my life good or bad), my number one priority was to take care of you. I was very … Continue reading does self care mean self centered?

in love’s words

If you were to sum yourself up in words of love, what would it say? I have a calendar on my desk that was given to me, “Whiskey words & a shovel,” that gives short sayings, if I am describing that correctly. Quotes maybe? Anyway today’s was this: just stay.I’m just a fucked-up loversearching for someone whowill understand my scarsand never leave my side I … Continue reading in love’s words

I passed my 6 month mark

It’s been 8 or 9 months now, I think, and my medication hasn’t failed on me. YAY! Before I couldn’t get past 6 months without my doctor having to change my meds and I would go into this period of depression every time. I didn’t even notice it until my last doctor appointment. I had to look up when my doctor originally prescribed the last … Continue reading I passed my 6 month mark

I didn’t think it was possible…

I have this friend who was going through deep depression the same time I was. We would sulk in our misery together. Somehow our level of depression seemed to always be the same every time we saw each other. When we were at our lowest point, I remember us saying how we didn’t remember what it felt like to be happy. That we haven’t smiled … Continue reading I didn’t think it was possible…

Wish me luck! “Wink”

So the last time I said anything about relationships, I said I didn’t want to be in one and I just wanted a companion and leave everything up to the universe. Well that lasted for a good few months. I sit here and I think, if I really leave it up to the universe and fate or destiny, nothing will ever happen because I never … Continue reading Wish me luck! “Wink”

my world turned upside down

So after the break in, I had to start getting my life back in order. You don’t realize how much stuff is in one thing until you lose it. I lost my driver’s license, credit cards, check book, office key with my paycheck stubs in my purse and my journal, talk about feeling violated! I mean someone being in your apartment is violation enough but … Continue reading my world turned upside down