So with everything going on with me, I’m beginning to think, am I having an episode? I’m so deathly afraid of having an episode that I could possibly be denying that I am in one. Does an episode mean I have to be depressed? I don’t even know if I am depressed. I haven’t been depressed in a long time. I know my mind is … Continue reading discombobulated episode
I haven’t spoken about my mental illness to anyone in a very long time until this past week. I’ve been doing great, I’ve been happy and moving along with life just fine. I still see my psychiatrist every few months. I didn’t think talking about my condition to someone new would start making me feel the way I do now, which I really can’t explain … Continue reading I want to crawl under a rock and hide…
I’ve been a sickly child my entire life. I was born one month premature, explains the sickly child thing. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t on any sort of medication whether it be over the counter or prescription, I’ve just been taking them all my life. It wasn’t until recently when I’ve gone a year or two without coming down … Continue reading I come with a warning label…
Everybody goes though tough times in their lives. Everybody has different experiences. When we tell our stories to other people, do they really understand what we’ve been through and what it felt like to live through those times? Even if the situation is similar, can we still say to the other person, “I know how you feel?” Sometimes I feel like the feelings that someone … Continue reading I know how you feel…
So the past that I thought many times I had gotten over suddenly found it’s way back to remind me of what happened again… Yesterday, my Whiskey Words and a Shovel calendar said this… I couldn’t stop staring at the words printed on the page. Old feelings rushed through my mind over and over again bringing back the feelings that I thought I had many … Continue reading Will I ever get over it?
Things have been going so well these days. My medication is doing what it’s supposed to be doing. I’m enjoying my life and doing the things that I want to do that I forget that I have this mental illness. The only thing that reminds me of it is when I have to take medication twice a day, other than that, I’m as free as … Continue reading Sometimes I forget
It’s been three years since I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. Thankfully my doctor has found the right combination of medications to get me stable for about a year now and I am doing great. When Linkin Park released their last album, “One More Light,” there was one particular song in there that hit me hard… … Continue reading “Nobody Can Save Me”
Out of all the long term relationships I had, there was one that stuck out and I could say was the best on of all because we ended in good terms. At least I think so. We had fun together. I got to go to Europe because of him. It was the first time I ever traveled out of the country without family or parents. … Continue reading An Old Flame
So I’ve been doing the dating scene for quite some time now and I’ve noticed something… Of all the guys I’ve had first and/or second dates with, I don’t know if it’s me or what, but for some reason they seem to fall hard and fast and so when I tell them that it’s not going to work, they are completely devastated and I’ve, and … Continue reading Can you create love out of thin air?
So last Friday, I had dinner with my dad… Okay, I’m not trying to put my dad in a bad light or anything, but it just seems like every time he invites me to dinner, he has an agenda. Anyway, at the end of dinner he asks me, “Carr, can you help me refinance my house?” I didn’t even give it any thought, not one … Continue reading house hunting