Being in recovery mode for the past few weeks and have nothing to do but binge watch TV show and think endlessly about everything. The one thing that has been running around in my mind is that certain people become a part of your life and then at some point that comes to an end.
When I was little, I grew up with my cousins. We spent summers together. While other kids our age were going to slumber parties and playing sports or whatever kids do at that age, we were playing in our backyard having a water fight or waiting for our other cousin to come home from school and ambush him with water balloons and water guns all the way into the house. At that time, my cousins were my friends.
In high school, there was a certain group that we gravitated to. It was like our own “click.” When one friend had a party, everyone in that group would be there. They would somehow be our partners for school projects. We would go to theme parks together, prom, high school dances, activities, you name it, the entire group was there. The senior kids formed an even better bond. A group of about six girls are best friends to this day. Some bonds can’t be broken.
Collage came around and for the first three years I was a loner. I just kept to myself and focused on school. I didn’t go to a University like some of my friends did, I went to a community collage. When I transferred to DeVry to get my Bachelor’s Degree, at first I was a loner, again, and focused on school. One day a guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to meet some people. These people became my friends for the rest of my collage years. We didn’t graduate at the same time, so that broke up the group. Some of us kept in touch but life happens and all of that went away.
In my early to late 20’s, I dated two different guys, Derrick and Zach. Derrick was a long horrible 4 year relationship. That ended in 2007. Then I started dating Zach. His friends were my friends. During that time, I lost touch with my college friends, so I stuck with Zach’s friends. Actually I met Zach’s friends from my previous boyfriend (Derrick) and it just so happened that they were also Zach’s friends. I wasn’t quite comfortable with one of the girls in our group only because Derrick compared me to her or should I say wanted me to be her. One time, I got jealous of her just because Zach commented on her shoes. I was still very insecure about myself back then but at least I got to go sky diving for the first time with them. So not all things are bad.
After that I lived with my cousin. I pretty much lost touch with Zach and his friends and so my cousin became my new best friend. At first living together was a little rocky… I’m not a neat freak and she is not a slob, lets just say that there were some things that we couldn’t agree on. Eventually we worked things out and things got better and better. We would go on food adventures together, try every new restaurant that pops up. We would order all the appetizers on the menu so that we can both try everything. Oh and we had this thing where neither of us could decide where to go. HAHAHA I don’t know how we ever made any decisions at that point. At the same time I got a Disneyland Annual Pass so we became Disneyland buddies. We would go almost every weekend that she wasn’t working. We would bring tupperwares of food, sandwiches, chips, candy, all kinds of snacks so we didn’t have to buy food there since it was so expensive. We just bought drinks. I remember there was one day where we spent only $20 in one day! We went to Disneyland 8 times in 3 months. Oh my gosh! That was so fun! Can we do that again, please? If the ride was closed, we would be like, oh we can go next time. We never worried about running out of rides to ride. Disneyland was our stress reliever. But all good things must come to an end. She found a job in Torrance so she had to move and I couldn’t afford our 2 bedroom apartment so I moved as well.
Next phase was Church. I got reintroduced to the Christian Faith. I spoke about it in my previous posts. It took a good amount of years and at the same time I was with Mitch. At the tail end of church days was when I was diagnosed with my mental illness. Mitch was taking care of me then.
Between church days and now kind of meshes together in some sort of way, I think? It just so happens that my friend Nate from high school started talking to me after Mitch left. We still talk and he got me through some tough times. Not that Mitch didn’t. Nate and I would go to dinner every once in a while, go get boba and hangout and just talk about anything and everything. Not that I’m mad at him or anything but, now he is back in school, he’s got a girlfriend and two kids and two dogs. So he’s got a lot on his plate. Not a lot of time to be able to talk to him these days.
And now, coincidentally, someone from my past, an old coworker, started talking to me again. It’s nice to have someone to talk to with me living alone and only have my dog and cats to keep me company. Keeps my mind off of things and it keeps my mind going instead of getting lost in this endless amount of TV that I’ve been watching.
At the same time, because of my surgery, my mom and dad have been taking care of me. Doing my laundry, cleaning my house, cooking food and anything else that I may need. I like it because there are times when it’s just me and my mom or me and my dad. We get to talking about important things, about what each of us is going through and it lets me get to know my parents at a deeper level. Growing up, I never had a very close relationship with either of them. I guess this surgery came at a good time and now I am making up for lost time.
People come and go in our lives but sometimes it’s good to know where that journey began.