An Old Flame

Out of all the long term relationships I had, there was one that stuck out and I could say was the best on of all because we ended in good terms. At least I think so. We had fun together. I got to go to Europe because of him. It was the first time I ever traveled out of the country without family or parents. I felt like a real adult. We went everywhere together. We went to London, Paris, Florence, Venice and Rome. Then Aruba. Went to Chicago with my family for my step sister’s boot camp graduation from the navy. We went to San Francisco together. We even went sky diving. I never did that much with any of my other relationships. I was happy. We were happy. In the end, and I think this is what happened because it was about nine years ago when we broke up, we just fizzled out. We had our time and that was the end. It was a mutual agreement. No fights. No one got hurt. We were able to stay friends.

We kept in touch after that until my next relationship came around, then we lost touch. At some point, I don’t remember when and I don’t know who texted who but we started talking again after I got out of my last relationship. We were friends again. We were hanging out, going to the movies, having dinner and stuff like that. We kept in constant contact. I don’t know what happened but we lost touch for about a year and then all of a sudden, last Thursday, I get a text from him saying we should have gone to Pisa! Meaning Leaning tower of Pisa while we were in Europe. That Friday we were just texting each other all day. He apologized for everything he ever did wrong in our relationship and I apologized for keeping him doing what he wanted to do, job wise.

Back story: He had the opportunity to go to Dubai for work and I said what about me? He stayed for me and as a result he ended up getting laid off. I’ve always felt bad about that and he is in the position he is in now because of me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s doing good. He’s a vet tech and has a decent job but took a lot to get there.

Anyway, back to us apologizing to each other for all the wrong things we did to each other when we were together. So then we are even. Clean slate.

We ended up meeting for dinner and I got to see how he rearranged his place from when I used to live there. The place looks a lot better and where did he find all that space? Anyway, after dinner we went back to his place and just watched Game of Thrones for a while, then I went home. When I left, he said “I missed you.” I said it back as I walked away.

Now, my two best friends are grilling me about the whole situation and what it means and what it may lead to and that they don’t want me to get hurt. In all honesty, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I don’t know what is going to happen. We just started talking again after a year and a half of not seeing or talking to each other. I don’t know if I have feelings for him again. I know he still has feelings for me but I don’t know if he is acting on them or what? It hasn’t even been a week. All I know is I quit and cancelled all my dating sites some time ago and one night I laid in bed and asked God to just send me someone and the next thing I know he texts me. Shrug. We’ll see where this goes.

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