So I’ve been angry with God for some time now and yes I will say that yea, I did turn my back on him. I lost my faith in God. I lost all trust in God. I stopped looking to God for answers to any of my problems when he was the source of all my answers before. I was angry at God for giving … Continue reading Am I okay with God now?
It’s been a crazy month but that phrase doesn’t seem to change for me does it? but it’s ok, things are going good… it was bad for some time, maybe too long in my book but what is good without the bad? it’s what makes the good even better right?!? I do miss writing, i miss my random rants about anything and everything and my … Continue reading on the up and up
My heart has been ripped out of my chest and placed in my hand. As the blood drips down my arm, I feel my life fade away slowly. I am barely alive, enough just to make sense of what is going on. The pain is real, the heart beats slowly through each agonizing breath. My heart cries and it overflows into the corner of my … Continue reading loss of a special friend
Sometimes I feel like I start to come back, and even then, I quickly fade away back into the depths of nothingness. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, although it feels like forever. Even my journal, that I carry with me everywhere I go, has been feeling empty and lonely. It longs for words that I do not have for the time being. … Continue reading am I back yet?
Just came back from a church retreat in Big Bear in which I almost didn’t go. So much plagues my mind of why I didn’t want to go, the anxiety of being up there, and the comfort of knowing that the people who have been watching over me were just a room away and most especially, God always being present even when my mind wouldn’t … Continue reading An honest prayer
I was having dinner with an old co-worker, more like a really good friend, and we were catching up over dinner the other night. I pretty much told her everything that has happened/is happening with me since we last saw each other a few months ago. At the end of the night, she asked me, “Are you angry with God?” With everything that I have … Continue reading Am I angry with God?
“forgive yourself and let God love you” Those words have been ringing in my ear since my pastor said them to me last night. He asked me how my personal life was going, as he would normally checking to make sure I was ok. With my recent encounters of life, being a pastor and knowing my history, I knew he wouldn’t judge me and I … Continue reading forgive yourself and let God love you