I’m in my in between world again. Not up or down. Just somewhere in between where I really don’t feel anything. My natural high has dissipated like a balloon deflating back to just a piece of latex. I feel like a dead weight. Maybe it’s time to go back to therapy. I stopped going to therapy back in January because things seemed to be going … Continue reading asking for help
And I’m back in the game! At least I think so… The last month was a big jumbled mess and I am a bit of a worry wart. But when it comes to life and death dealing with emotions, it can’t be helped, or can it? I don’t know. Anyway, things are beginning to look up. I’m getting my energy back, at least it feels … Continue reading I like me again
I took the day off today… for two reasons. One, I didn’t feel like going to work and two, I was feeling depressed. I definitely needed it. Work is not crazy but it’s not busy either. I slept in til 11am and then went to lunch with my cousin. Went home and took Mochi to the park. It seems my depression has been getting worse. … Continue reading my saving grace
So along with my depression, I have developed a bit of anger issues. I’m not an angry person, never have been. I was always the shy, quiet, hide behind the shadows type of person. I’ve done a pretty good job of hiding it because no one really notices it but me. Even when I did get mad, I would give the silent treatment. Lately it’s … Continue reading anger issues
As much as I love doing things on my own, not having to worry about anyone else at all, it really does get lonely. I know I’ve said it time and time again, I’m lonely. This past weekend I went up to the Sequoia National Park. Did some hiking, climbed a rock, more hiking, saw ginormous trees and more hiking before a four hour drive … Continue reading Only the Lonely
So I’ve gone on a handful of first dates and none have gotten past that. I’ve never really had to think what if things did work out and there was a second or third date? Except once. Where would that lead to? What would happen? I went on a date with a guy a couple of weeks ago and he really really liked me. To … Continue reading Afraid to love again
All he wanted was my innocence. He used me, used my depression against me, verbal abuse day after day. “You’re too happy, you’re too sad, you are such a child.” Because of him, I fought with my parents, family, rebelled, did drugs, drank and I acted like I was proud of it. I lost who I really was even when I didn’t know myself. I … Continue reading a blast from the past
Lets pretend that this mental illness of mine was all made up. That I am doing it for attention. That I don’t need to take all this medicine. That I am always on the up and up and life is good. Then reality kicks in and it is all very real. I’m not doing it to get attention. Believe me, I don’t like getting all … Continue reading lets pretend
I have a hard time talking about my depression. It’s easier for me to stay away from people, no one gets hurt and I don’t become a burden to anyone. A lot of people tell me that I could talk to them and that they are there for me. Unfortunately, like many of us, there are only certain people that we can confide in. So … Continue reading not quite an open book
I got home today and I sat on the couch thinking… What am I doing with my life? (Deep sigh) I’m not necessarily going on a bad note but just really been doing some serious thinking here. I’m 37 years old. I’m not married. I don’t have kids. Not that I’m trying to jump on any bandwagon and not that being single is a bad … Continue reading What am I doing with my life?
The Odd Clumsy Girl Stories 