He stands around in the dark, watching, waiting for the right time. You notice him and he lets you see him with a grin on his face and you get scared, try to shrug it off and carry on with what you were doing. He begins to follow you as a shadow in a small distance, you see his grin grow and this time he starts to laugh at you. Each time you notice him, he gets closer. The closer he gets, the more he plays with your mind, feeds it with things you probably wouldn’t think of. Now I feel like he’s inside, he’s gotten in… He plans it all out for you… this is how it will happen, this is what you will do, this is what you will write to whoever. If you don’t do it, he gives you another plan… you know where this is, you know where that is you just go home and get it and it’s up to you after that. What is he going to do next? There is no way out.

Everything in my mind is about death or my destruction and how to do it or ways to do it as if he is controlling me. I’ve been defeated, I have no strength to fight back, he’s too strong and I’m too weak. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on. He’s pushed me so far down into a black hole that there is no way of climbing back up. How long will this last? I just want it to be over.

**Something I wrote some time back during one of my severe depression phases but very much felt real to me.**