It took a very long time and a lot of tough times but I’ve finally found myself. A self that I am happy with, that I am more than satisfied with, that I can create new memories with, do the things that I’ve always wanted to do with, and be happy growing old with.
For the first time in my life did I choose to take care of me, listen to my feelings and not ignore them or push them aside for the betterment of anyone else and to be quite honest, it felt really really good. I have this immense craving for life, a life that I can live to the fullest. I’ve found clarity and direction of where I want to go and what I want to do without having to follow what anyone tells me to do. This is me, this is who I want to be. I jump for joy at the thought that there is absolutely nothing or no one else I need in life to make me the happiest person on this earth but myself. I find pure happiness in coming home to my dog who greats me lovingly everyday and taking her to the park then coming home and watching TV and sharing ice cream together. Don’t forget the two mellow cats who constantly meow for attention and food. I sing at the top of my lungs on the drive home because I can and because I want to and I enjoy listening to music that much. I write in my journal everyday to spout out my feelings good or bad. I can finally go after my dreams and work on my photography like I always wanted to. I can get back into my writing because I have always wanted to write. I can indulge in a decadent warm chocolate soufflé because I want to without worry about my figure or gaining weight. And ladies and gentlemen, after all these years, I finally! finally! am comfortable in my own skin! Can look myself in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back at me. There is soooo much more, this is not all of it, but all of this just because I finally decided that it was time to take care of me. I feel like I woke up from a deep sleep, waiting for the perfect moment to spring back to life and feel ALIVE!