It strips away your identity slowly but surely. One by one you stop doing the things you love to do because it makes you lose interest in them. At some point you begin to forget those things and you lose yourself. You forget why you loved to do those things in the first place. You just don’t want to do anything. You forget who you are.
It makes you push people away. It’s easier to deal with it alone. You don’t have to pretend to be happy. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t feel like you’re a burden to anyone. You don’t feel like you’re sucking the life out of anyone. You say no to attending any events including family and you just stay away. You feel detached from friends, family, and even life itself.
It drains you of all your energy that you have nothing left to even do your daily routine things. Just getting out of bed alone is tough enough. You have no motivation to do anything. You find no purpose in life. You feel empty inside. It sucks the life out of you. You just feel dead.
It makes you feel numb. You feel nothing when you should feel happy or sad. It’s a blank expression on your face all the time. You don’t care. Someone could die and you wouldn’t care. YOU JUST DON’T CARE!
It’s a faceless enemy. An enemy that takes full control whenever it wants however it wants. It takes you down before you can even think about getting back up. It has no remorse.
This is what I’ve been through time and time again. This is my depression. Only now have I actually sat down and identified the things that I felt going through it. I’ve missed out on life because of it. I miss being me. I feel like I have to start over with life when I come out of it because I’ve been so out of touch. I am on the road to recovering with hopes of things beginning to look up.