So I’ve been angry with God for some time now and yes I will say that yea, I did turn my back on him. I lost my faith in God. I lost all trust in God. I stopped looking to God for answers to any of my problems when he was the source of all my answers before. I was angry at God for giving … Continue reading Am I okay with God now?
I guess when I started this blog site, I didn’t know how personal I would get. In the beginning, I wanted it to be light hearted and funny, or quirky even. I realize that some of my posts have really gotten deep into what makes me who I am today. I have a journal that I write in almost on a daily basis, but lately … Continue reading this is me
It’s been a crazy month but that phrase doesn’t seem to change for me does it? but it’s ok, things are going good… it was bad for some time, maybe too long in my book but what is good without the bad? it’s what makes the good even better right?!? I do miss writing, i miss my random rants about anything and everything and my … Continue reading on the up and up
I emptied out my heart to those who didn’t want it and now am left with nothingness inside is hallow and echoes with loneliness. When will I be loved? When will I be filled with love? When will I grow in love? Who will love me? Why will they love me? When, who, why and how this void will be filled is only an answer … Continue reading words of the heart
My heart has been ripped out of my chest and placed in my hand. As the blood drips down my arm, I feel my life fade away slowly. I am barely alive, enough just to make sense of what is going on. The pain is real, the heart beats slowly through each agonizing breath. My heart cries and it overflows into the corner of my … Continue reading loss of a special friend
Sometimes I feel like I start to come back, and even then, I quickly fade away back into the depths of nothingness. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, although it feels like forever. Even my journal, that I carry with me everywhere I go, has been feeling empty and lonely. It longs for words that I do not have for the time being. … Continue reading am I back yet?
Just came back from a church retreat in Big Bear in which I almost didn’t go. So much plagues my mind of why I didn’t want to go, the anxiety of being up there, and the comfort of knowing that the people who have been watching over me were just a room away and most especially, God always being present even when my mind wouldn’t … Continue reading An honest prayer
I was having dinner with an old co-worker, more like a really good friend, and we were catching up over dinner the other night. I pretty much told her everything that has happened/is happening with me since we last saw each other a few months ago. At the end of the night, she asked me, “Are you angry with God?” With everything that I have … Continue reading Am I angry with God?
the words of God and the songs that sing of his praise seem to calm me down even in the midst of a downward spiral falling fast in the depths of what seems to be my hell, my prayer for God to help me and save me seem to have been answered. He catches me as i fall into His arms i rise up from … Continue reading hope