It’s been 8 or 9 months now, I think, and my medication hasn’t failed on me. YAY! Before I couldn’t get past 6 months without my doctor having to change my meds and I would go into this period of depression every time. I didn’t even notice it until my last doctor appointment. I had to look up when my doctor originally prescribed the last change and it was May of 2018. Why am I ranting about this? Well because my doctor finally found the right medication for me and I’m no longer a guinea pig. Things are always looking up nowadays and it feels good. My last post I said I don’t remember what it feels like when things were really bad, that is still true. I try to read my old journals during those days and I wince and cringe at the thought of ever feeling that way again. Anyway, things are good, have been good and seem to be looking good. No complaints here.
And I’m back in the game! At least I think so… The last month was a big jumbled mess and I am a bit of a worry wart. But when it comes to life and death dealing with emotions, it can’t be helped, or can it? I don’t know. Anyway, things are beginning to look up. I’m getting my energy back, at least it feels like it. I’m starting to make plans for the near future again. Let’s see if I can stick to my six week cardio training starting next Monday. So I’m planning to run 4 days a week. And to add to that, throw hiking every Saturday into the mix, starting this weekend. Hopefully that will get me into shape by the time I go to Hawaii in July. Yay vacation! Long awaited, much needed vacation with family! Now that I’ve said all that, will I actually do it? HAHA That’s how it usually goes for me… I have these plans and if I keep them to myself, I end up doing them. If I tell someone, I end up not doing them. So I’m going to try to break my habit of not doing them after I tell someone. Here goes nothing.
So I guess the meds are working. This is what happens when they are working. Life becomes appealing again. I’ve been dead for quite sometime now and I’m being brought back to life. I actually have a pulse. HA! I’m being myself again. My clumsiness is coming back. Yesterday I crashed into the corner of a desk and now I have a big bruise on my thigh. Let’s see how many bruises I come out with by the end of the week… HAHAHA See this is my usual self, laughing at me every chance I get, it’s kinda funny you know HAHAHA okay, I gotta stop or I’ll burst out laughing at my desk at work. I know, I know, I’m supposed to be working, but I had to get this out or the moment will be gone. I’m kinda on this natural high floating away on my own cloud 9 and it feels like nothing could bring me down and I like me again.