You were the love of my life. I don’t think I can ever love someone again the way that I loved you. Everything about our relationship was everything I had ever imagined I would have in a relationship. You took care of me. You truly cared for me, I think, but you really did take care of me. The things you did for me were nothing short of amazing. I remember our weekend in Santa Barbara. We had the most fun going around town in our roller blades even though you weren’t that good, you still tried. We had the best breakfast at Sombas, although I don’t think it’s there anymore. I remember all the times you drove through rush hour traffic just to hang out with me (everyday). All the concerts we went to. All the Disneyland trips on my birthdays. I will never forget the time when you told me to take the day off of work. You surprised me with taking me to the Getty Center during the day and then took me to dinner and a concert at night. It was great even though it was after a fight. You really made up for it. And everything else in between.
Even though in the end our paths were going in different directions and we were on the brink of breaking up, you stuck around and still took care of me. I don’t know how to thank you for the amount of care and attention you gave me even though some situations were extremely serious. The late night phone calls. Sleeping over your house even though there was a chance that your family might get caught in the middle. You stuck by me as much as you could. I didn’t know it then but I know now, what you had to deal with when I got sick was a very heavy load and at the end, even though you left abruptly, I know it came time for you to take care of yourself.
After you left, I was devastated and it didn’t help with my situation. I relied only on you and you were the only on supporting me so when you left I was on my own. I guess at some point I have to thank you for leaving because if you didn’t, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. I learned to stand on my own. Take care of myself. Be self sufficient. I grew up. I changed into a better version of me and at the same time healing. I am a stronger person today than I ever have been and I’m actually proud of it.
To be honest, I was mad at you for leaving. I hope you don’t hate me for this and I hope you can understand why I had to do it. I had to purge myself of you. I threw away our pictures, all the things you gave me. Deleted all the pictures on my computer, phone, social media, iPad, you name it I deleted it. I even gave away the piano that you gave me. And of course I had to stop thinking about you. You were the hardest person to get over. Even though I started dating after we split up, it was heavily affected because I was still in love with you. It took me three and a half years to completely get over you and not think of you anymore.
You’re probably thinking why am I writing this now after all this time and everything I did after we split up. It’s because I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of one time we went to a concert and I was singing my heart out to you.
So I hope, wherever you are, that you are happy with your life and I wish you all the best. And I hope you find someone who will take care of you the way you took care of me. You deserve it.